A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
