and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
