SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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