if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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