i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize