I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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