I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sober January is a disaster.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
