all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?