I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell