I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.