if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
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Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.