yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
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I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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