Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
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We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
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Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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