I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
