It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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