Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize