I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Randomize