So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
