Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
