Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
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Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.