Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....