You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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