I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
