Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize