Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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