just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just gargled with NyQuil