Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends