he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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