Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
COCAINE IS GR8
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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