i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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