In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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