Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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