So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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