Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am midnight drunk by noon
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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