google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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