They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
