Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
