I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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