I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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