Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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