The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize