haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
