Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize