I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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