so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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