I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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