I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize