I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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