worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
