My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
