Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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