Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
