My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
