Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
