You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
