I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy