I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.